omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
