i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
We need to rekindle our bromance
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
