Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
