They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
