Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
