Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
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