Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Randomize
