Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
don't judge my taste in strippers
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
