And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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