Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize
