some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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