im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
