You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
