Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
