I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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