I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Porn is love you can see.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
