dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Let the clothes fall where they may.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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