how can u be prego again
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
