problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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