That's when you crack a 10am beer
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
