it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
