So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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