Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
