wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
