he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
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The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
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I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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