She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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