I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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