Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
