you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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