Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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