Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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