Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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