I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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