i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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