i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
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