I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
