How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
