so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
my sisters under your porch take her home
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Randomize
