I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
