how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Randomize
