I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
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You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
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See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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