How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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