theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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