So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize