my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
she told me i tasted like america
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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