Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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