would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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