Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize