if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Randomize
