I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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