Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
