If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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