You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize