Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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