there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
