Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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