the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize