fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Randomize
