i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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